Sobbing into a pillow while my mother stroked my hair, I swore I would never fall for another soul ever again. I was eighteen years old in freshman year, going through my first heartbreak. My mother looked down at me and smiled. She said to me, “This may be the first, but it most definitely won’t be the last time you find yourself crying over someone who has broken your fragile heart”. I decided then that my mother was delusional. I was never going to let someone close to me again and risk feeling like my soul was torn.
Have you ever heard the phrase, mother’s always right? Low and behold, I have found myself crying until the tears ran dry more times than I’d like to admit. Heartbreak never hurts any less, regardless of how many times you’ve stumbled onto it’s wrenching path. I have always been afraid of love in fear of the possibility of heartbreak. Unknowingly, I’d orchestrate the downfall of every possible relationship before it even started because of those fears. Heartbreak is painful and tragic, but it is also an opportunity to grow open to new, life-altering love that most of us dream of finding one day.
If you’re feeling bruised by heartbreak, here are some ways to lighten your burden:
Let yourself feel– Whatever you’re feeling whether it be anger, pain, sadness- allow yourself some time to fully feel these emotions. Acknowledge and embrace them for a period of time (not too long, as this can be unhealthy and consuming) to feel what your heart needs to feel.
Accept your situation- You aren’t expected in any way to be happy about it, but accept that you are feeling this way and that it’s okay to. Accept what has happened and know the past is something you cannot alter.
Take time for yourself- Whether you handle situations better on your own or surrounded by friends and family, take time to do what makes you happy. You may need some time alone to reflect, or might seek out the company of those closest to you for comfort. Spend some time doing things that get you out of bed and into the world. It may feel impossible to do, but will lighten your spirit even a little bit if you give yourself that chance.
Let go of hate- If you are angry with someone, you have given yourself that time to feel angry with them. Do not let your frustration turn into hatred, as this emotion can easily consume you and only hurts you in the end.
Forgive- Try your best to forgive the person who has hurt you, even if they haven’t apologized or are no longer in your life. Forgive yourself for your mistakes, the pain you may have caused others, and the pain you may have caused yourself. Mistakes can help you to grow and teach you valuable lessons if you choose to accept them for what they are and offer forgiveness.
Most importantly, remember that you deserve to feel worthy of love and that everyone will inevitably deal with heartbreak in their lives. Time will heal your wounds, and you will come out of this much wiser than before.
“And then the day came,
when the risk
to remain tight
in a bud
was more painful
than the risk
— Anaïs Nin
How have you dealt with heartbreak lately? How have you mended a broken heart? I’d love to hear your stories!