Is Everyone Dating But Me?

One day, while scrolling through my personal Instagram account, a strange thought crossed my mind. Is it just me, or is everyone dating?

As I scrolled through engagement announcements, wedding photos, anniversary celebrations and newborn photo shoots, I couldn’t help but wonder if it was normal to still be single and enjoy it.

I’m only 24, of course it’s normal. But only a few weeks earlier I was in an entirely different place.. Tinder, if we’re being honest (we’ve all been there,  I won’t tell if you won’t) It was a few months post break-up, and there I was already in search of the next relationship to fill the void because being alone terrified me. Everyone around me seemed to be in a relationship, and it was all I could see.

This is the first time in a long time that I’m truly single. The not texting anyone, not currently looking for a relationship and embracing the time I have to get to know myself  single.  I no longer wanted to search for a relationship the second I felt lonely, so I decided it was time to try and enjoy being on this side of the ride.

Everything Is Not Always As It Appears

Don’t get me wrong, there are many happy and healthy couples who are madly in love with one another. To them I say, keep on keepin’ on, we need couples like you to inspire us. But, social media has a way of skewing things to look a lot more shiny and perfect than they actually are, relationships and dating being one of them.

Not everyone in a relationship is happy. I can attest to that- I’ve been in relationships where I was much unhappier than when single. You can still feel lonely, even in a relationship. A relationship will not solve all of your problems or help you fill a void. That’s not what relationships are meant to do, only you can do that.

Don’t worry about the Instagram or Facebook photos. If you need to, take a small break from social media. Try to remember that you’ll never see the behind the scenes moments, but we all have them- even that perfect power couple on Instagram!

You Have the Rest of Your Life

That’s right, you have the rest of your life to date and meet your beloved someone. Even when it seems as though everyone around you is crossing milestones in their relationships, or a new couple just started dating, there is still plenty of time. The timing of your life is not meant to be the same as everyone else’s. Trust it.

Each of us are different, so it’s only right that we each have unique paths to follow. Don’t be afraid to be doing something different. Travel, go to school, volunteer abroad or pursue your career; whatever gives you life, do it. Be proud of yourself and show gratitude for what you do have, rather than focusing on what you feel you’re missing.

It’s Not a Competition

At times, I’ve felt that getting married was the end goal and life accomplishment to strive towards. You get married and can finally breathe easy because the pressure is off, the hard part is over.

Dating or getting married should not be our sole ambition in life. It sounds strange to talk about marriage as an accomplishmentLove is a blessing. Having a lasting marriage through years of hardships and life-altering experiences is an accomplishment. Marriage alone, the ring on the finger; there is so much more to it than that.

 

Follow your goals, pursue your dreams, do what sets your soul on fire. There’s no prize to be won because at the end of the day, it’s about being happy. Do what makes you happy, and don’t look back on what anyone else is doing.

If you’re in love, be in love and cherish your relationship and dream big. If you’re single, embrace the time you have for yourself, it won’t last forever (as much as you might think so, I swear it won’t). Be a dreamer of your own reality. There’s nothing wrong with being single, and there’s nothing wrong with being in a relationship. You can be strong, independent and happy with someone, or single.

Have you ever felt as though you were alone in being single? I’d love to hear your stories!

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  • ohhh instagram and her little veil of rosiness-but-actually-probably-not-so-rosy.

    there ain’t nothing wrong AT ALL with being a single pringle, mingling their way through life. i always think if i do break up my boyf (not looking too likely…6 years down the line haha) BUT if i did…i don’t know whether i’d get my ass on tinder or just wait and let fate do it’s thang??

    ps. you crazy beautiful little specimen

    pps. pleeeeasseee can i have your hair!? GOALS.

    katie. xx lacoconoire.com

    • Diana Maria

      Congrats on your long-term relationship! I think so too, there’s nothing wrong with being single or in a relationship, as long as you’re happy and let go of comparisons, which can really hurt us in the end. Thank you Katie! xx

  • Oh yes, Instagram is by far not what it seems! I love the horse photos…. 🙂
    x finja ~ http://www.effcaa.com

  • Lovely post! While I haven’t been single in a long time since I’ve been with my S.O for so long, I completely agree. I also think that people who aren’t happy should just move on instead of trying to create that perfect picture for the rest of the world to see. I’m glad to see that you’re doing your own & being happy with it! x

    TFM Life & Style blog

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you Shannon! I’m glad that you’re happily in a relationship and know that appearances aren’t the most important aspects of a healthy relationship xx

  • Yes!!! I love all of this post!

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you Stephanie 🙂

  • Wow, so interesting post, so nice pics!
    http://www.recklessdiary.ru

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you Anya!

  • I love when you said that it is never a competition. I was 24 when I had my first boyfriend, and now, after 2 years, we are engaged and going to enter our marriage life together soon. But before that, I told myself that I want to focus on other things, and because others are into relationships, I know that it might not as easy as i thought. And the time that I wasn’t really looking, there came my dream prince. I did not rushed myself or whatever, but I took my time and then I learned lots of things. But yeah, others find it a competition. :/

    Myx / http://myxilog.blogspot.com/

    • Diana Maria

      Congratulations on your engagement! Good for you for focusing on other things in life and taking your time. I think the moment we let go is the moment things begin to fall into place 🙂 Thank you for reading 🙂

  • Ahhh social media has a way of distorting the truth every time

    bysheene.blogspot.com

    • Diana Maria

      It can at times, which is why realizing this is so important! Thanks for reading Sheene xx

  • I loved this blog. I also feel like that at times. Almost all my friends are either getting married or in a relationship. Sometimes, I feel very lonely. Sometimes, I feel like I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship. When I think it through, it’s not the right time for me to be in relationship anyway. I have plans and I want to built a future somewhere else, work and travel. I want to see the world. I’m not sure this could include anyone. So maybe, it’s not such a terrible thing that I’m single. This way I only have to consider myself when I take risks and make choices. x

    http://www.serenbird.com

    • Diana Maria

      I’m so glad you have your goals and dreams, and are pursuing them! Love always comes when we least expect it. It’s inspiring to hear how determined you are to live a life you love Serena! xx

      • Aww. Thank you, Diana! xx

  • I loved this so much, ahhh so empowering! I definitely agree, it is a wonderful thing to be able to be self assured and live life at your own pace, I still feel like I compare to those around me and so wish I didn’t 😀 it is something I am still learning, that I have everything I need and go with the flow, but is tricky sometimes! I have always jealous of your beautiful photos and your blog is so gorgeous! 😀 xx

    elizabeth ♡ ”Ice Cream” whispers Clara

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you Elizabeth! You are too sweet, comparison is definitely the thief of joy but I am guilty of it myself. Your blog is beautiful so that is such a compliment to me, thank you xx 🙂

  • I LOVE THIS POST! I’m also 24 like you and I notice it’s like everyone around me are having babies or getting married as well while I’m here, well, living. It doesn’t also help that every time an elder in my family ask me how old I am and when I say 24, they always follow it with “oh I got married in that age” or “I got married younger than you.”

    Despite all that, I’m not actually pressured (although I’m annoyed TBH) but I totally agree with your post. It’s not a competition, and I have the rest of my life. My friends say it’s because my career is my priority which personally, I don’t think it’s a bad thing. Getting married is not my sole ambition in life as well. I believe love will come, when the right person comes at the right time.

    xx Alyssa // STYLE VANITY

    • Diana Maria

      My family definitely does the same, but I know times were different back then! I don’t think that’s a bad thing at all either, it’s great to see how inspired you are to follow your dreams. Thank you for reading Alyssa! xx

  • I have been married many years now and I agree, neither is it an end goal nor the guarantee to being happy. If you have a void in you, you will take it to your marriage and it will cause problems that are hard to solve.
    Learning to love yourself first is very important.

    Linda, Libra, Loca: Beauty, Baby and Backpaging

    • Diana Maria

      I couldn’t agree more with you! Self-acceptance is really important especially with our relationships with others. Thank you so much for reading xx

  • Very true – it is NOT a competition! To be honest, before I was engaged, I was convinced that everyone else was announcing engagements but me. Now whenever I scroll through my feed, it’s either everyone’s expecting a child or they’re single. Okay so back to my point… social media does skew everything – I’m guilty of that sometimes! But only in the aspect of, I’d rather share happy moments in my life and keep the not-so-happy ones to myself and those concerned.

    cabin twenty-four

    • Diana Maria

      I think we all know this deep down so it’s important to remind ourselves of it every once in a while! Social media is wonderful, but there is always that private side we don’t see. Thanks for stopping by Eena! xx

  • This is such a beautifully written post. I love how you’ve reflected so honestly and it’s exactly what I needed to read today. Brilliant post.

    Heather xx
    https://www.hefafa.me.uk

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you Heather, I’m glad you liked the read! xx

  • Love this – I know a few couples whose social media accounts show a VERY different picture to the reality of their relationship. I’m lucky in that I love being single and don’t feel any need to be with someone for the sake of it, I think I’d be a lot more miserable otherwise!

    • Diana Maria

      I’m glad you enjoy being single and know it’s better to be alone than to be unhappy with someone! It helps with knowing the right person will come, and it is worth the wait 🙂

  • aw I love this post! and it’s so beautifully written.
    Enjoying your own self single is so important xxx

    Liz | LotsofLoveLiz

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you Liz! xx

  • This is a beautiful post and definitely something I needed to hear – I haven’t had much success with relationships yet and there was times when that really bothered me and I tried to find someone on Tinder etc (never worked out). Now I’m trying to go with the flow and just see what happens. Trying to force something just doesn’t make me happy. And like you said, that’s what it’s all about in the end. And you’re right – you have all life to find love. My mother found the love of her life at 50 after an unhappy marriage xx

    113thingstosay.com

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you Mira! I feel like we’ve had very similar experiences with relationships and I couldn’t agree more. There’s no need to try and force things to work, I think embracing the unknown and flow of life is the way to go! That’s so uplifting to hear your mother found love then, I don’t think it’s ever too late xx

  • I need this post! I’m 21, and literally all my friends are engaged, some are already married and others are in relationships. Then there’s little old me feeling all single and lonesome. I definitely think seeing so many happy (and photogenic) couples online just hammers the point in – but you’re definitely right, I have the rest of my life to go yet! Lovely article 🙂

    Anika xo | anikamay.co.uk

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you dear, I’m glad you see the bright side to this and know social media can skew our perception of things. We each have our own timing in life 🙂 xx

  • Great post lovely! You remind me of my twin sister, she’s been single for a while and is enjoying her time being single and to find herself first. I’m in a relationship but I’ve never been the one to share it much which I prefer, because it’s private 😊 I’ve always loved the quote “What you become, you will attract”. Sending you lots of love 💗

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you Peta, you are so kind! I love that quote, it’s so simple but bares so much truth. I’m so glad you enjoyed the read xx

  • YES! This is literally what I think sometimes. It does feel like I’m the only one single out there at times and having two best friends who are in relationships doesn’t help as well. But it doesn’t bother me as much. I am happy being single and being in relationship isn’t something I desperately want or need. I feel like you need to learn to be by yourself, as in single, to be able to be in relationship. I know people who couldn’t spend a day without having someone by their side. They couldn’t bare a thought of being alone and single. It’s definitely not a competition and not something to be ashamed of. I’ll be single for however long I wish, damn it, haha 🙂

    -Leta | The Nerdy Me

    • Diana Maria

      It sounds like you’ve definitely felt the same way Leta! I’m glad you think so too, there’s no need to rush and learning to be on your own can be such an eye opening and life altering experience. There is plenty of time for the rest as well 🙂 xx

  • I love how this is beautifully written! Just don’t rush things and enjoy life!

    StyleSprinter Blog by Katya Bychkova

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you Katya! xx

  • You go girl! Beautifully written and your photos are to die for!! 🙂

    http://www.alifyalifestyle.com/

  • Emily

    I’ve been in a relationship for the last six years but I LOVE this so much! I thoroughly believe there is a lot to be said for spending time on your own and being happy with yourself. As you say, there is so much time for a relationship and other things are just as important. Really lovely, fantastic post. 🙂

    Musings & More

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you Emily! I’m so glad you could resonate with the post and enjoy it 🙂

  • This post is so refreshing. So many of my friends in their late 20s are single and they could totally do with reading this x

    Tiffany Tales | Lifestyle & Beauty

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you Tiffany, I’m glad you enjoyed the post! xx

  • Lovely pics, totally the style I love!
    Have a good evening 🙂
    Olivia
    http://www.oliviaponcelet.com <3

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you Olivia! xx

  • Kim

    You are totally right! Everything on social media is fabricated. You won’t see every aspect of other peoples’ lives on there because we only tend to put our best images upfront, which is why you’ll see the baby announcements, engagements, weddings, etc. Also, you have the rest of your life, like you said, to find someone. I always say, love comes when you least expect it! 🙂

    Kim
    Simply Lovebirds

    • Diana Maria

      I think that’s so true, it’s always when we least expect it! When we realize that about social media, that’s when we have a more realistic outlook on it. Thank you for reading Kim xx

  • this is so true. most at times people see photos of others on social media and assume all is well with them but everything is really not as it seems.
    The Glossychic

  • You certainly don’t need to date to be happy. Thanks for sharing.

    http://www.nynomads.com

  • omg hun this post….bless you!!! i really need this!! thank you so much for sharing your insight!