You could call it my rock bottom, because that’s exactly what it felt like at the time. Over a year ago, I packed my life up into a suitcase, moved across the country and began a new chapter of my life in Whistler, British Columbia.
I had dreamed of moving to this mountain town for years, it was all I could think about. The mountains, the adventure, the endless exploring- in my eyes, this was the place I would be spending the rest of my life.
If you’ve been following along, you might know that things didn’t exactly turn out the way I had planned. At one point, it felt like I had everything. I had a great job with amazing coworkers, a lovely home with wonderful housemates, and I was seeing someone I really liked.
Slowly, the shine of living in a new town began to wear off. I began to realize that my dream town wasn’t what I had imagined it to be. I fell into the heavy party lifestyle, began spending my savings on going out, and started losing sight of my goals and aspirations. Because I spent most of my money on going out, I could barely afford to snowboard or enjoy my days off. The highs and lows of partying began to take their toll on me.
The End of the Dream
When everything came crashing down, it crashed hard. I cracked under the pressure and had a break down. I quit my job, moved in with a new boyfriend much too quickly and felt my mental health slowly begin to deteriorate. I felt the lowest I had in years and truly believed things would never get better. This was where I experienced my first real battle with depressive thoughts. Somewhere along the way I had lost my independence and didn’t like the person I had become in those last few months. In the end, after giving it everything I had, I had nothing left to give. I booked a flight back home for the final time and left my dream behind.
Accepting The Realities
I felt like a failure. There I was, living back at home with my parents after failing to make it on my own. I had everything, and it seemed as though in that moment, I had lost it all.
I could have continued to wallow in my self blame and pity over everything that had gone wrong. Is this what I did? In all honesty, yes. But, as the days grew, I realized that there was nothing more I could have done. I had tried my best. I put my mental health first, and left an environment that was no longer healthy for me.
I might have dreamed of living in Whistler years ago, but sometimes our dreams aren’t what we expect them to be, and that’s okay. Sometimes, our dreams lead to new pathways and open doors we never could have imagined. If we never try, how would we ever know?
Finding New Opportunities
The most important thing was that I had tried. I gave it my all, and when I look back on my time living in BC, I don’t regret a thing. Slowly, as time began to heal my wounds, I started to put the pieces of my life back together. Since I was living at home, I enrolled and finished a TEFL Certification Program so that I could pursue my love of travel and teaching. I started volunteering at local schools as a tutor. I’ve enrolled in a volunteer teaching program abroad for two months that I’m ecstatic to start. In what seemed like the shambles of my life, I found my dream career in the midst of the rubble. Because I had gone through such struggle, I was able to pick myself back up again.
In the midst of my moments of greatest weakness, it was there that I had found my strength.
“When you come to the edge of all that you know, you must believe one of two things: There will be ground to stand. Or you will grow wings to fly.” —O.R. Melling