How Losing My Dream Was The Best Thing That Happened To Me

whistler nature photography

You could call it my rock bottom, because that’s exactly what it felt like at the time. Over a year ago, I packed my life up into a suitcase, moved across the country and began a new chapter of my life in Whistler, British Columbia.

I had dreamed of moving to this mountain town for years, it was all I could think about. The mountains, the adventure, the endless exploring- in my eyes, this was the place I would be spending the rest of my life.

whistler dream snow

If you’ve been following along, you might know that things didn’t exactly turn out the way I had planned. At one point, it felt like I had everything. I had a great job with amazing coworkers, a lovely home with wonderful housemates, and I was seeing someone I really liked.

Slowly, the shine of living in a new town began to wear off. I began to realize that my dream town wasn’t what I had imagined it to be. I fell into the heavy party lifestyle, began spending my savings on going out, and started losing sight of my goals and aspirations. Because I spent most of my money on going out, I could barely afford to snowboard or enjoy my days off. The highs and lows of partying began to take their toll on me.

whistler snowboard dream

The End of the Dream

When everything came crashing down, it crashed hard. I cracked under the pressure and had a break down. I quit my job, moved in with a new boyfriend much too quickly and felt my mental health slowly begin to deteriorate. I felt the lowest I had in years and truly believed things would never get better. This was where I experienced my first real battle with depressive thoughts. Somewhere along the way I had lost my independence and didn’t like the person I had become in those last few months. In the end, after giving it everything I had, I had nothing left to give. I booked a flight back home for the final time and left my dream behind.

whistler outdoors dream

Accepting The Realities

I felt like a failure. There I was, living back at home with my parents after failing to make it on my own. I had everything, and it seemed as though in that moment, I had lost it all.

I could have continued to wallow in my self blame and pity over everything that had gone wrong. Is this what I did? In all honesty, yes. But, as the days grew, I realized that there was nothing more I could have done. I had tried my best. I put my mental health first, and left an environment that was no longer healthy for me.

I might have dreamed of living in Whistler years ago, but sometimes our dreams aren’t what we expect them to be, and that’s okay. Sometimes, our dreams lead to new pathways and open doors we never could have imagined. If we never try, how would we ever know?

Finding New Opportunities

The most important thing was that I had tried. I gave it my all, and when I look back on my time living in BC, I don’t regret a thing. Slowly, as time began to heal my wounds, I started to put the pieces of my life back together. Since I was living at home, I enrolled and finished a TEFL Certification Program so that I could pursue my love of travel and teaching. I started volunteering at local schools as a tutor. I’ve enrolled in a volunteer teaching program abroad for two months that I’m ecstatic to start. In what seemed like the shambles of my life, I found my dream career in the midst of the rubble. Because I had gone through such struggle, I was able to pick myself back up again.

whistler dream photography

In the midst of my moments of greatest weakness, it was there that I had found my strength.

“When you come to the edge of all that you know, you must believe one of two things: There will be ground to stand. Or you will grow wings to fly.” —O.R. Melling

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  • I love how you have taken what has happened to you and turned it around. Everything in life is a lesson and we have to grow from things like this!

    Danielle xx
    http://www.fashionbeautyblog.co.uk/

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you Danielle, I couldn’t agree more 🙂

  • Nat

    It is commendable that you tried and followed through on your dream; for a lot of people, there is a lot of talk but not much action. But dreams change and whilst it may have been a dream before you went, is it still a dream if you realised that it wasn’t what you wanted? Therefore by that logic, it wasn’t really the end of the dream!

    nat // dignifiable

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you Nat! It’s not easy to follow a dream and I’ve for sure experienced the fear that has stopped me before. It wasn’t really the end of the dream- I like your optimistic take on that! 🙂

  • What a wonderful story, it’s so lovely to see how positive you’ve been about this and it hasn’t kept you back at all. You literally watched yourself fall and grow back again you phoenix you! This post gave me so much inspiration.
    Marbl☾☽Moon

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you Ciara- your comment brought me to a smile! I think we all need to fall apart in order to grow and put ourselves back together again xx

  • How wonderful that you have found your dream career through a difficult journey. Everything is meant to be, it just takes a while for us to realise the why sometimes.

    Peta x
    http://www.pe-ta.com

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you Peta! I’m so glad I was able to find what I love to do, and am able to continue searching. I think so too, all is meant to be- it just isn’t always so clear in the beginning xx

  • I love so much that you’ve shared this, it must of took some courage so thank you for sharing it with us. I’m so glad you’re in a much better place now, xxx

    http://www.natalieleanne.com

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you Natalie! Although I don’t always share detailed personal posts, writing this helped me, so I’m glad you’ve enjoyed it as well xx

  • I love that you shared this because I think we all feel like we’re not allowed to ‘fail’, and it probably happens to most of us, so it’s great to see other peoples stories – especially when you can share that you found your dream career.

    • Diana Maria

      I’m so glad you enjoyed the read Rosie. I’ve felt that failure has had a taboo associated with it, when in reality its something we all need to go through. Thank you for your comment Rosie 🙂

  • Kim

    Thank you for sharing your journey! While I don’t know all the details… I think you’ve accomplished a lot! You moved all the way to British Columbia! That is a pretty big feat on it’s own. It may seem like you failed because you had to move back home, but at least you could say that you tried and you lived in your dream town for a little while. Dreams don’t always last forever! I dream of living in Hawaii but I know that in reality, I probably won’t last more than 2 months there 😛 You seem to have grown and learned from your experiences and that’s the best thing life can give you <3

    • Diana Maria

      Aw thank you Kim, you are so kind! I think the experience has definitely altered me in ways which I can now appreciate. Hawaii was absolutely beautiful, it would be a dream to live there! Dreams don’t always last forever, but they are worth the chase 🙂 xx

  • Marisa Cavaleiro

    It was a great adventure… but you try… now i whish you the best luck…
    Xoxo from Portugal

    marisascloset.blogspot.com

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you Marisa 🙂

  • Steph

    LOVELY POST!!
    I can relate to your story in some regards; I just made the move from South Africa to the UK. I understand what you mean about expectation and a dream and then some things not matching up to that.

    I love how you ended the post.
    You write really well!

    Steph
    Social Spying

    • Diana Maria

      Wow, that’s such a huge move Steph- good for you! I wish you all the best with your move, that’s so exciting! xx

  • T.

    great post! It’s awesome that you tried and gave it a shot instead of wondering what could have happened! I live in Vancouver and this post really makes me want to visit Whistler again soon!

    http://www.initialed.ca

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you! Vancouver is such a beautiful city, Whistler has gotten so much snow recently I would definitely visit! 🙂

  • Love the amazing pictures very much, sounds you have such wonderful time out there. Thank you for sharing, you look gorgeous!!!

    xxx

    http://www.noragouma.com

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you Nora xx

  • I loved this post. Thank you so much for sharing. I find it very inspirational, that even thought it didn’t happened as you expected to, you still went for it and dove in to chase that dream. Even if it didn’t worked out at the end, you have learned something. I really need to take you as an example and trust my intuition more and finally go for it, because even if it won’t happen as I expect it to, there would be a lesson at the end. Thank you, again, for sharing your journey and good luck with future endeavours! xx

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you Ania! I’m glad you enjoyed the read- I’m a firm believer that it is worth chasing your dreams and living outside of your comfort zone and that the outcome will always teach you something one way or the other. All the best Ania xx

  • Thank you so much for posting this — you are an inspiration. Detours and step backs are part of our life and shape us to become who we are meant to be and direct us where we are meant to be. We only have one life, so it’s better to give everything we’ve got and give our dreams a try — it might not be for us but the important thing is we dared try it.

    No regrets here too for trying and stepping out of my comfort zone. 🙂 We gotta be brave if we want to improve.

    Senyth @ http://ohsenyth.com

    • Diana Maria

      Aw Senyth you are so kind to say that. Thank you so much for your comment, it is important that we dared to chase our dreams regardless of the outcome! It never is a failure xx

  • Thank you for sharing this with us, it must’ve took a lot of courage to share it. I find it so inspirational that you managed to pick yourself up, and carry on even though it was the lowest you had ever felt. I’m glad you’re starting to find new opportunities too xx

    Hannah | luxuryblush

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you for reading Hannah! It was scary and difficult, but I am so glad it all happened the way it did 🙂 xx

  • What a nice testimony. Nothing is what it seems and I love that you acknowledge that you tried your best and went on to finding new opportunities 🙂

    http://www.desiringsme.com/late-wide-leg/

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you Yara 🙂

  • This is such an inspiring post! So glad you have come out the other side hun x

    Tiffany Tales | Lifestyle & Beauty

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you so much Tiffany xx

  • Loved reading this, it’s so honest and true! I think it’s cool that you went and followed your dreams and that even though it didn’t turn out the way you hoped, you got through that difficult time and learned so much. Happy to hear it led you to your dream career!

    http://www.myclusterofthoughts.com/

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you Katherine, I’m glad you enjoyed reading! 🙂

  • Kate

    I can really relate to this! We get told so often that we should follow our dreams, but not so much about what happens if those dreams don’t work out! I’ve been there myself, and like you, the initial “failure” not only led me to something I enjoy better, but made me a stronger person too. So glad to hear your experience led to something really good for you. x

    Kate Louise Blogs

    • Diana Maria

      I’m so glad it made you stronger in the end- I think that’s really what it all comes down to! At least now we know that even if dreams don’t work out, it really isn’t the end of them at all xx

  • Thank you for sharing your story and opening up. I recently went through a similar experience and currently moved across the country to live at home again so I could get my life together more. Now I have a job I love so much and I see my future becoming more positive and brighter. You definitely have to go through the bad and ugly to appreciate what you have xx

    https://dreamofadventures.com/

    • Diana Maria

      It’s wonderful to hear that you moved away and tried something new- not everyone has the courage to do that! I’m glad you’re feeling more positive, I feel the same way and agree, it really helps you appreciate what you have 🙂

  • Alexandra Hubbell

    Ugh, I am just coming out of the same sort of thing. Thanks for sharing your story, it helps others keep their heads up. I’m on a long road to healing right now. I’m not 100%, but I’m getting better. I try to remember that there is a whole lifetime ahead of me, and this is just a tiny chapter in a very long book. I’m glad you are back on the path to happy. We’re gonna be just fine 🙂 and thank goodness for women who can help each other through hard times, from near and far.

    xx and good luck,
    Alexandra
    http://www.shethrivestribe.com

    • Diana Maria

      Aw I’m sorry to hear that Alexandra, the beginning was definitely the worst for me, but it really does only get better. You will be surprised as to how strong you really are- you will be fine. There is something wonderful ahead for you, and you will heal. We definitely have to all be there for eachother during the tough times. Wishing you all the best xx

  • I have totally been through what you went through. I used to live in Vancouver and found it so expensive and ended up leaving. Whistler is so expensive I can only imagine living there.
    xo

    • Diana Maria

      Vancouver is beautiful but yes- so expensive! At least you gave it a shot and now know for the better Laura, thank you for reading 🙂

  • I just came across your blog, and immediately clicked into this post, because of Whistler!
    A magical, wonderful town, but it definitely has a dark side. I’ve seen so many people sucked into the partying hole. It can be hard to escape.

    My family has called it home for many years. I actually went to high school there, but moved to the city after to pursue my dream of living in Vancouver. My experience of course very different to yours, but I wanted to commend you on being so open. Sometimes when our dream become reality, its not what we expected. But so often, that unexpected thing is a good thing.

    I hope you will come back in a few years and remember all the good parts of this town.
    Where is home for you now?

    All the best to you this Holiday season ahead 🙂
    Lyndi

    http://www.stylecalling.com

    • Diana Maria

      It really is a magical town! I still love it, and plan to visit it as often as I can because so much of my time there was wonderful. It’s sad about the dark side of it, but I think as you grow it can be easier to avoid.

      Vancouver is a beautiful city, it’s inspiring that you followed your dream and now live there! I now live back in Toronto, as Ontario has always felt like home to me, but I’m not sure where I’ll end up! Have a wonderful week Lyndi, thank you so much for sharing 🙂

  • Shannon

    Thanks so much for this post! It was very inspiring and easy for me to relate to. I recently moved home after two years at college. At the time I felt like a complete failure, but looking back I realize it was really the best thing for me as I really wasn’t happy where I was. Now I’m going to school elsewhere and feel so much better! I feel like my life is finally back on track and that I know myself a bit better now.

    Shann Eileen | http://www.shanneileen.com

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you so much for your comment, Shannon! Good for you for making that decision, I think feeling like a failure is something we all feel at some point or another, but it’s often a sign of the changes to come 🙂