How To Stay Positive When You’re Not Feeling It


What do you do when all you want is to be positive, but life doesn’t seem to want to head down that road just yet? Whether it’s with your job, your relationship or how you feel about yourself- you’ve been in a slump and can’t seem to get inspired enough to climb out.

A few months ago I felt stuck. I felt stuck in a place I no longer loved, felt as though my career was at a standstill and that my life wasn’t going where I wanted it to go (if anywhere at all). My dream of living somewhere I thought I would love was just that- a dream, and reality was much more sobering and different from what I had imagined. So, what did I do? Did I summon the inspiration to lift myself up and get my act together? No. At least not right away.

Push being positive aside vintage

Push Being Positive Aside

My first piece of advice might sound contradicting, but it’s impossible to be positive all the time (not to mention exhausting!) If you’re feeling low or defeated, you’re allowed to give yourself some time to feel that way. You don’t have to pick yourself up and put on an act so that everyone around you thinks you’re doing well. I know I post positive quotes and photos here at My Lovelier Days whenever I get the chance, but there are times where I feel anything but optimistic. During those times, I do my best to take a break from posting and try not to mask my emotions. The only way for the feelings to pass is for them to make their way through you, which in turn leaves you in a different place than where you began.

Photography knee highs

Be Honest With Yourself

Take a moment to sit with yourself and be honest. Do you know why you’re feeling the way you are? Instead of thinking about all of the ways you have failed or gone wrong in life, try to think about what you would like to change. If you could change things, what would you do differently? It’s easy to tell yourself you’re not good enough, not smart enough, not enough. But that kind of talk rarely inspires anyone to move forward. Rather than looking at what you don’t have, think about it as finding things you’d like to work on and improve, or have more of. Everyone starts somewhere, right?

Social media stay positive self love

Stay Away From Social Media

This is a big one. Have you ever noticed that everyone on social media is having the best time of their lives all the time? It’s rare that I ever pass a post with a gloomy photo and a caption of how difficult or rough someone’s day was. So, have a social media detox. People want you to see what they want you to see. We put our best sides out for the world to see, but don’t be fooled into thinking the dark sides don’t exist. They’re just not as celebrated. Use your time to read, step out into nature, cook- anything that makes you happy and let go of the idea that you have to post your happy memory for it to be seen and become a reality. Just do what you love for you.

Alone time reflect

Read This List

Have you ever felt that everyone your age or younger  has an amazing career and is reaching their goals, while you sit in limbo? Read this list. I know it helped me when I was in a tough spot in life! Life isn’t a competition, or a race. There may be some people who are your age and are crushing their career goals- but we all grow and go through life at different paces. That’s what makes it such a unique and interesting experience. Don’t rush yourself or feel pressure to be who you think you should be. It’s okay to not even know who you are yet.  Enjoy finding what you love and finding yourself through the process.

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  • Stephanie Hartley

    I’ve never read anywhere before that the trick to being positive is not forcing it all the time. And that’s so true. It’s so hard to consider being negative as ‘bad’ because you’ll end up punishing yourself for not feeling happy all the time, and it’ll end up as a horrible vicious circle

    Steph – http://www.nourishmeblog.co.uk

    • Diana Maria

      It can be tempting to try and put a positive spin on everything, but it can be a great release to accept what you’re feeling as well. Thank you for reading Steph! 🙂

  • hope you’re feeling better! it can definitely be hard to not compare yourself to others on social media, especially when you’re not feeling up to par. stepping away is healthy every now and then!

    http://www.avecdanielle.com

    • Diana Maria

      I agree wholeheartedly, thank you so much for reading Danielle!

  • I really enjoyed reading this post, It’s different and refreshing to the classic posts you see about positivity. I’ll be referring back to this when I need.

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you Harriet!

  • You make very interesting points, I really enjoyed reading this post.
    It is quite hard sometimes, I also compare myself to younger more successful people. It can kill your self esteem and make you feel defeated. The worse thing is that time is limited and the older you get the more difficult it everything get.
    Great post and amazing photography!

    Vanessa x | http://www.springlilies.com

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you so much Vanessa! I tend to do that as well, which really does hurt your self-confidence at times. It can get harder, but we also have experiences and knowledge that can help us along the way!

  • Thank you for sharing that list! It’s so flipping inspirational. I agree with everything you said and I take very similar steps too when I want to stay positive but life is just not having it.

    -Leta | The Nerdy Me

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you Leta, I’m glad you take those steps to work through feeling in a tough place!

  • HERRENDEZVOUS

    Inspiring post & the photos are gorgeous! You got yourself a new reader! X

    http://herrendezvous.com/

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you love! I’m so glad you enjoyed reading 🙂

  • Eliz Ida

    love this post! xx
    elizida.com

  • Being positive all the time takes its toll when you’re not feeling it. I agree – we need to take some time to think on it and to be present in the moment before thinking of how we can address situations.

    • Diana Maria

      It definitely does, being present in the moment is so important I feel. Thank you for reading Alyse!

  • Lovely post, this is how I am feeling at the moment so I really needed to read this to remind me that others go through this too.

    Lauren x Huggled

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you Lauren, I hope you end up feeling better love! xx

  • Such a lovely idea for a post! I like to think I’m a very positive person and struggle to accept sometimes that it’s ok to be down for a while!

    Lucy x | lucy-cole.co.uk

    • Diana Maria

      Aw thank you Lucy. I think so too!

  • Love this list. I think I really need to stay away from social media. It stresses me out!

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you love, I think a social media detox can do everyone a little good, especially when you’re stressed and always on the go xo

  • Love this list! I am feeling in such a rut lately and I totally agree, it’s so hard to stay positive! So these are great tips!

    Lizzie | Takeoffs & Landings

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you Lizzie, I’m sure you’ll pull yourself out of it in no time, wishing you all the best love!

  • One thing I do eventually want to start to do is, stop going on instagram before bed and when I wake up because those are two times of the day that can really affect me.
    Aleeha xXx
    http://www.halesaaw.com/

    • Diana Maria

      It can become such a habit! Hopefully we can both break that habit with time 🙂

  • Really great tips! Just what I needed to read x

    Tiffany Tales | Lifestyle & Beauty

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you Tiffany, I’m glad you enjoyed reading!

  • thisgirlloveschic

    loved this post!! sometimes you need to read something motivational to keep you going

    This Girl Loves Chic xx

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you love!

  • Vettae-Fee Kling

    Sounds nice, but when i feel low, i just make a DIY project.
    xo
    http://www.sofrenchychic.com/

    • Diana Maria

      I love that idea!

  • These points make sense and very helpful. There are days where I’m highly motivated but sometimes we couldn’t avoid situations that are challenging. Being positive really does help. Btw, glad I stumbled on your blog. FOllowed you on Bloglovin! 🙂

    http://thewallflowersecrets.com

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you Alissa, I’m glad you found it helpful! I’ll definitely be checking your blog out as well! xx

  • This is inspiring Diana 🙂 Thank you for this post.

    bysheene.blogspot.com

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you Sheene! 🙂

  • The Sunday Mode

    For me I think stepping away from social media regularly is a huge part of why I’ve been feeling more positive lately. Even though I know people only put their best moments on social media, that doesn’t stop me from playing the comparison game!

    Julia // The Sunday Mode

    • Diana Maria

      Good for you for taking a break from social media, I do the same with comparing so a break always does wonders! xx

  • So well said. And honestly something I find myself struggling with right now! I’ve been itching for big move lately and it hasn’t happened yet, which is so frustrating. But remembering that good things take time is something I often repeat to myself 🙂 Thanks for such an inspiring read love! xo

    kelsey | http://www.abalancingpeach.com

    • Diana Maria

      That’s such a good thing to remind yourself of, and something I need to hear lately as well! Thanks so much for reading Kelsey! 🙂

  • Such an inspiring post to read..

    https://zunera-serena.com/

  • I think you can be a positive person but not feel positive all the time, it’s about being honest with your feelings like you said. I don’t pretend to have a perfect life online, I share the ups and the downs because life can be tough! Saying that I’m definitely a cup half full kind of person and that helps me to appreciate the little things in life 🙂

    Hanh | hanhabelle

  • You definitely can’t be positive and happy 100% of the time and, as you rightly said, you’re allowed to feel sad, unhappy, or frustrated. You need to feel like that to figure out what to do or where to go next. And if you don’t let yourself feel that, it just builds up and up and it doesn’t solve any problems. I felt like that a few years ago; there was no career progression with the company I was with because it was so small and I couldn’t get a job elsewhere because I’d not had experience in things other candidates had because the company was so small. After a few months I realised I wanted to go back to university and I’m almost finished with my undergrad degree now and it’s definitely the best decision I ever made.