“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection” – Buddha
After a year of being in my first ever relationship, it became a growing certainty in my mind that I was unhappy. I enjoyed being in a relationship and feeling a sense of security and love, but I suddenly realized that I didn’t share these same feelings for the actual person I was in this relationship with. I was afraid if I ended it, I would be alone, would be letting go of someone who cared for me deeply, and would never find someone who could love me again. I wondered if I could ever be happily single. These things scared me, but what frightened me even more was the thought of being alone while being with someone.
So, I made the difficult decision to leave and accept the pain and uncertainty that would come with that. Through my journey of being single, there are a few things I’ve learned about what it takes to be happily single.
Accept The Uncertainty Life Has To Offer
“Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart…live in the question.” Rainer Maria Rilke. When you’re single, so much of life becomes an uncertainty. The future seems unclear, and you suddenly have all of the freedom to be making self-oriented decisions. Embracing the uncertainty and freedom to find yourself makes the difference between living happily single and living in the past.
Let Go Of The Past
We all need time to mourn the end of a relationship, a friendship, and memories made. It’s also important to know when it’s time to let go of what once was. Relationships end and leave us with memories, but they also leave us with valuable life lessons about self love, selflessness and love for others. Dwelling on the past and wondering what we could have done differently hinders us from taking those mistakes and learning the lessons within them.
Take the time to get to know yourself. Explore your dreams, learn about what you love, about what makes you happy and what doesn’t. It’s perfectly fine to be selfish and make time for yourself because in the end, you can never truly love someone if you don’t love yourself first (cliche, I know!). You may hear that often, but it’s a statement I’ve learned to be very true. Self love, confidence and acceptance are key to being happily single, and to one day being happy with someone new.
Go out and see the world for yourself. Spend time exploring different cultures, different parts of the world, and see what life has to offer. Expanding your horizons is a great way to realize that there are so many opportunities out there, and that all hope is not lost. The world is inspiring, and who knows what you’ll find as you make your journey through life.
It’s not at all an easy road to self-love and acceptance, and there will be many times where thoughts of loneliness or sadness will creep up on you. These are all normal emotions that we’re supposed to feel and should embrace rather than try to run away from. There’s nothing wrong with being single and on your own because you’re by no means alone, and now have the opportunity to explore who you are, which is simply a new chapter in life!
Have you struggled with finding peace and happiness in being single?