The Key To Being Happily Single

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“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection” – Buddha

After a year of being in my first ever relationship, it became a growing certainty in my mind that I was unhappy. I enjoyed being in a relationship and feeling a sense of security and love, but I suddenly realized that I didn’t share these same feelings for the actual person I was in this relationship with. I was afraid if I ended it, I would be alone, would be letting go of someone who cared for me deeply, and would never find someone who could love me again. I wondered if I could ever be happily single. These things scared me, but what frightened me even more was the thought of being alone while being with someone

So, I made the difficult decision to leave and accept the pain and uncertainty that would come with that. Through my journey of being single, there are a few things I’ve learned about what it takes to be happily single.

Accept The Uncertainty Life Has To Offer

“Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart…live in the question.” Rainer Maria Rilke. When you’re single, so much of life becomes an uncertainty. The future seems unclear, and you suddenly have all of the freedom to be making self-oriented decisions. Embracing the uncertainty and freedom to find yourself makes the difference between living happily single and living in the past.

Let Go Of The Past

We all need time to mourn the end of a relationship, a friendship, and memories made. It’s also important to know when it’s time to let go of what once was. Relationships end and leave us with memories, but they also leave us with valuable life lessons about self love, selflessness and love for others. Dwelling on the past and wondering what we could have done differently hinders us from taking those mistakes and learning the lessons within them. wander

Be Selfish

Take the time to get to know yourself. Explore your dreams,  learn about what you love, about what makes you happy and what doesn’t. It’s perfectly fine to be selfish and make time for yourself because in the end, you can never truly love someone if you don’t love yourself first (cliche, I know!). You may hear that often, but it’s a statement I’ve learned to be very true. Self love, confidence and acceptance are key to being happily single, and to one day being happy with someone new.

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Explore 

Go out and see the world for yourself. Spend time exploring different cultures, different parts of the world, and see what life has to offer. Expanding your horizons is a great way to realize that there are so many opportunities out there, and that all hope is not lost. The world is inspiring, and who knows what you’ll find as you make your journey through life.

It’s not at all an easy road to self-love and acceptance, and there will be many times where thoughts of loneliness or sadness will creep up on you. These are all normal emotions that we’re supposed to feel and should embrace rather than try to run away from. There’s nothing wrong with being single and on your own because you’re by no means alone, and now have the opportunity to explore who you are, which is simply a new chapter in life!

Have you struggled with finding peace and happiness in being single?

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  • Rue Roxanne

    Beautiful tips. I’ve only just realized how sometimes one needs to be selfish in order to be happy.
    http://www.rumbii.blogspot.co.uk

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you Rue! Sometimes it is truly needed to be a bit selfish and to think of yourself!

  • Yes! I love being single right now because there is no drama (yay!) and I get to do whatever I want without having to check in with another person. Definitely a breath of fresh air 🙂

    xo, mikéla / simplydavelyn.com

    • Diana Maria

      That’s lovely Mikéla, it’s great when people can embrace being on their own and enjoy that time to find themselves!

  • You did such a good decision in decided to let it go for your own happiness. A lot of people are in relationships even through they are not happy in them. And I feel like they are only in them just because they are afraid of being alone. I personally see nothing frightening in being alone, maybe it has to do with my introverted self. Yes, it may be nice to have someone who needs you as much as you need them, but it’s not worth sacrificing your own happiness.
    I am very happy being single now, like you said, exploring, finding my path and accepting the way I am. If I will meet someone and that someone will make me even more happier, then I will go for it 🙂 x

    -Leta | The Nerdy Me

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you Leta! I agree, sometimes it’s difficult to leave a relationship because of comfort and being used to being with someone. It’s great that you aren’t afraid of being on your own and are learning to find yourself, I wish you all the best on your journey!

  • indiesuns

    I really like this article. I’m currently in a relationship and I’m very happy, nevertheless is always nice to remind yourself that your happiness should always come first, and knowing when its time to let go. You have a lovely blog <3

    http://www.indiesuns.com

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you! I’m glad you too are in a happy relationship and realize the importance of your own happiness! xo

  • I’ve been single for a while, and while I seem to be on the cusp of a new relationship, things are still hard. It’s difficult separating my feelings for the person versus my feelings for being in a relationship, like you said, but in the end, it’s all part of life.

    Angelina Is | Bloglovin’

    • Diana Maria

      I wish all the best for you and your new relationship! I agree, it is all part of figuring things out and will come together with time, I hope you’re able to find happiness and content as well Angelina!

  • Hi Diana 🙂 I just found your blog & wanted to tell you it’s absolutely beautiful, I love it so much! I’m not just saying that, I really do mean it. I’ll definitely have to spend some time reading your posts, just by reading some of the titles I already found a lot which I really want to have a closer look at. So yeah, just thought I’d let you know I think your work is amazing & you gained a new reader. I hope you’re having a lovely day x

    Sara / aboutlittlethiings.blogspot.com

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you Sara, that’s so kind of you! I will definitely be taking a look at your blog as well! I really appreciate your comment and am so glad you enjoyed this post! xo

  • This is a really important post, great points here. I was in a really serious relationship at a really young age (13) and we’re still together now (I’m late 20’s now), but there were times when we really needed to take some time apart and be selfish. It was hard to separate the times that we agreed to because he was basically someone that I grew up with from such a young age. It was hard to find my identity without him.

    It’s so important to be selfish and put yourself and your happiness first in a relationship. Sometimes relationships ARE about sacrifice, but when it comes to true happiness, you can never be in a good relationship if you aren’t truly happy. Exploring, drinking lots of water, having an open mind, and giving yourself time are the most important things to being single (in my opinion)

    • Diana Maria

      I completely agree with you Amber! Although it sometimes feels like the hardest thing to do, giving yourself the space and time to find yourself is often exactly what you need to do. I’m so glad you were able to take time for yourself and that you are both happy!

  • Also- I love these photos- such pretty light 🙂

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you Amber! xo

  • This is such a good post! We are independent women, of course we can be happy without a boyfriend. I think too many girls focus too much on having a boyfriend 🙂

    http://www.moderngirl.dk

    • Diana Maria

      I agree whole heartedly! Thank you for reading Louise xo

  • Erin B

    I’m definitely gonna pass this post on to my friend who recently went through a breakup with her long-term boyfriend. So many good points!x

    littlebateaux.blogspot.co.uk

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you Erin! I hope she too finds this post useful! xo

  • You have such an ispiring blog! Love your advice and the way you write about it!

    http://drunkinfashion.blogspot.com.es/

    • Diana Maria

      Aw thank you Carla, that’s so kind and I’m glad you find inspiration through it! xo

  • I can relate to your way of writing so much! The journey and internal conflict that goes on before, during and after a breakup can be so exhausting. Such beautiful, yet articulate advice.

    Ana xx

    http://www.namastefromananya.com

    • Diana Maria

      I’m so glad you can relate Ananya! It can be exhausting, but also so transforming. Thank you for reading, sending love your way!