When Friendships Drift Apart in Adulthood

friendships traveler

Friends are the family you choose – they’re the ones who pick up when you call in hysterics in the middle of the night. They’re the one’s who can make you laugh until you’re on the verge of tears. Most importantly, they’re the ones you can trust to always be there for you when you need them the most.

girl friendships travel

Sometimes, life gets in the way. We become busy in the midst of the chaos of it all and just can’t seem to find the time we used to have for our friends. It doesn’t mean we don’t care about them anymore, or that we no longer want them in our lives.

We’ve all experienced friendships that have drifted apart and slowly lost their place in our lives. When I look back on my past friendships, I miss the good memories we shared.

photography explore ontario friendships

The girls nights out, the countless adventures where nothing else seemed to matter, laughing until we could barely breathe- I miss it all. Just because a person is no longer in our lives, doesn’t mean we can’t look back at our time together and appreciate those moments.

I’ve always been the kind of person who can count how many good friends I have on one hand. When I was younger, I used to be insecure about only having a few good friends in my life. As I’ve grown older, I’ve realized what a true blessing in disguise it’s been. I’ve had many friendships come and go during the different seasons of my life. It’s the friendships that have lasted through it all that will always have a special place in my heart.

photography friendships adventure

Just like the seasons of our lives change and grow, so will our friendships.  People will come and go, but they will never leave without bringing something into our lives.

Adulthood might mean we’re busier than we once were back in the days where we didn’t have to think about much more than ourselves, and that’s okay. The friendships that are meant to stay in our lives will always be there. You might not see a friend for months, but when you finally do, it’s like nothing has changed. Something clicks, and you’re back to where you left off those seemingly short months ago.

friendships photography explore

You will have relationships that fade and drift away, but that’s simply another piece of the journey. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person, or a bad friend. It doesn’t mean you can’t hold a friendship together. All it means is that change is constant, and that without bittersweet endings, we wouldn’t have room for new beginnings.

 

 

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  • This is such a true and inspiring post, a nice reminder of the friendships I’ve had, the ones I’ve lost and the new ones I’ve made. Memories of the good times you’ve had will always be there and now more than ever I appreciate my friends, the ones who I can truly count on for support and yes some friendships drift but if they’re meant to be they’ll be back 🙂

    Hanh | hanhabelle

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you Hanh! It was a bittersweet post to write, but I’m so glad you could resonate with it 🙂

  • Kim

    Aww many of my friendships have drifted because we no longer live near each other like we did in high school or college and it’s really sad! But like you said, when we do reunite months later, it feels like nothing has changed. Glad to see that this is all part of life! Sometimes people come and go. Thanks for the inspiring post!

    simplylovebirds.com

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you for reading Kim! It is sad when friendships drift away, but I think there’s always a silver lining at the end of the process xx

  • Diana Maria

    Sending light & love your way,

    http://www.mylovelierdays.com

  • K. Danielle Forgey

    I love his post so much. Sometimes lives change and it’s not always easy. I’ve been struggling with an almost 10 year friendship changing over the last year and it’s comforting to see that I’m not the only one struggling to come to grips with friendships changing in adulthood.

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you dear! You are definitely not the only one, I think friendships change along with us and although it’s difficult it’s all part of the plan xx

  • Sam

    This is something I wished I had known when I was younger! I moved around a bit so sometimes it was tough keeping in touch with old friends, and whenever it did fade away, I always thought it was me. But as we grow older, people change! And now it’s so weird to think how I thought I’d be friends with those people forever. But like you said, it’s all about new beginnings!

    Sam / My Beauty Cloud

    • Diana Maria

      It sounds like we went through very similar experiences at a young age, Sam! I felt the same way when my friendships would fade away, but now it feels like a part of life. Thank you for sharing xx

  • This is all so true! It’s sad to look back and see that some of your best friends are no longer in your life. We all followed different paths in life and eventually friendships faded away. I guess it’s part of growing up, people change and we realize that we don’t have as many things in common as we did. But as you said, some friendships resist to time and distance, and those are the ones we must value the most. x

    • Diana Maria

      It really is quite sad, but also comforting knowing it’s something we all go through xx

  • This is so true. I have drifted apart with my childhood best friend, and as painful as it was, I am sure that it was meant to happen for some kind of reason. I have other people in my life that are worth my time and energy!

    Danielle xx
    http://www.fashionbeautyblog.co.uk/

    • Diana Maria

      Agreed, the people who are in our lives in this moment are there for a reason 🙂 Thanks for stopping by Danielle xx

  • This is so accurate! I’m sad about friendships that have ended, but each one teaches you something different or add to your life!

    http://www.myclusterofthoughts.com/

    • Diana Maria

      I think so, too! Thanks for reading Katherine xx

  • Pretty photos, I love all of the fall colours
    xo
    http://www.laurajaneatelier.com

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you Laura, that means so much coming from you!

  • I feel like I really needed to read this right now, I’ve just gone through the exact same situation and as much as it hurt, I’m glad it happened, as it’s taught me a lot. It seems like it all teaches you valuable lessons. great post xx

    Hannah | luxuryblush

    • Diana Maria

      It definitely teaches us so much, I’m glad you’ve found the silver lining to the situation Hannah 🙂

  • Caitlin

    True that it’s part of our journey but still sad!

    Beauty & Colour | Vegan Lifestyle Blog

    • Diana Maria

      I think so too, thanks for stopping by Caitlin!

  • Susie Ray

    This is so true its kind of sad but I guess its the way it goes, just more effort is needed hey :/ Hope you are having a good day!

    findyourownhope.blogspot.com

    • Diana Maria

      I agree, sometimes we can still manage to save a friendship with effort. Thank you Susie, have a wonderful weekend 🙂

  • It’s so sad to think about this, but you are so right. I like to think that most of my friendships just evolved with time. For the ones I no longer connect with I admit – I did felt a bit guilty about, but thank you for this post – it was very heart warming, especially the last sentence of the post.

    Ania x

    • Diana Maria

      Looking at this with the perspective that the friendships have evolved is such a great way to see it! Thank you for sharing Ania, I’m glad you enjoyed the post 🙂

  • Nicely written! I think it’s part of growing up and you start appreciating your real friends even more, which you might not see every week, but will always be there for you!

    Marije | thegfguide.com

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you Marije! I think so, too xx

  • Thank-you so much for this. Since suspending my university studies for MH reasons 18 months ago, i have lost contact with most people i met; even the girls i lived with for nearly 2 years! That’s despite me reaching out. The hardest part was when i travelled back to uni last year and brought their birthday presents; 3 months on, when it was my birthday, i didn’t even get a card!

    Yet as you wrote, the ones who matter WILL be there. Although i too can count my friends on one hand, they are TRUE friends. Friends who travelled on a train to be with my on my birthday and greeted me with flowers! So that’s what i need to focus on – the positives. If we dwell on the negatives, we will only feel unworthy in ourselves.

    Thank-you again, a valuable reminder 🙂

    Bumble & Be

    • Diana Maria

      Aw I’m sorry to hear that! It’s heartwarming to know you were so thoughtful, and it’s great you were able to find who your true friends were in the end Sophie. Thank you so much for sharing xx

  • Everything you mentioned here is so very true!!! That’s just life I guess.

    https://www.alifyalifestyle.com/

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you Alifya xx

  • Very artsy and thoughtful post — it definitely gets hard to keep in touch as we age, but when we do it’s like we never were apart. 🙂 Happy weekend!

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you Nicole, have a wonderful weekend! 🙂

  • It´s really sad to see when your outgrowing a friendship, it almost feels like a break up.

    Vanessa x | http://www.springlilies.com

    • Diana Maria

      It does, doesn’t it?! I felt that way when I stopped being friends with a very close friend of mine a few years back, it was so similar! Thanks for sharing Vanessa 🙂

  • I moved to a new town about a year ago, and it really put into perspective who my good friends were, and who I was friends with for convenience. But, I do look back fondly on the memories we shared

    Steph – http://www.nourishmeblog.co.uk

    • Diana Maria

      Although it’s sad, that can truly help you see who your real friends are. The same thing happened to me, and I think reflecting on it with positive memories is the best way to go about the situation 🙂 Thanks for reading Stephanie xx

  • Ulla Rozīte

    So true. Wish it would not be true, but so many friends of mine have just disappeared from my life.

    ullarozite.blogspot.com

    • Diana Maria

      It’s a sad part of life, but we all go through it, thank you for reading Ulla xx

  • This is so true. To be honest, I used to be bummed about losing friends in this phase of life called adulting; but you get so used it, it almost doesn’t even hurt anymore! It’s sad but it’s true.

    cabin twenty-four

    • Diana Maria

      It’s definitely bittersweet but just another part of life! xx

  • Aww I love this part so much “All it means is that change is constant, and that without bittersweet endings, we wouldn’t have room for new beginnings.” That is so true. There are people I miss as well but such is life. Nice touching post. 🙂

    Sheena | http://www.sheenalovessunsets.com

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you Sheena you’re so sweet! It’s the way it goes, but it’s comforting to know we’ve all experienced this at some point in our lives xx

  • Kate

    So true – it’s part of life and it’s the same for everyone. But the really important friends will stay in your life, that’s for sure! x

    Kate Louise Blogs

    • Diana Maria

      I think so too Kate! xx

  • This is such a lovely post and everything you’ve mentioned is true. People tend to drift apart in adulthood with other things getting in the way such as families ad careers – when friends are true friends though, it doesn’t matter how far apart they are, they’ll always be friends you can count on! 🙂

    Layla xx

    http://www.sprinklesofstyle.co.uk

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you Layla! You’re right, they are always there in the end through it all xx

  • How do they say? Some friendships are for a reason, some are for a season and some are there for a lifetime. This also goes with your statement that all friends bring something into our lives. As sad as it is to lose friends, I guess it’s natural – we are all growing and sometimes people happen to grow apart. Even after wonderful times. You’re absolutely right, when it comes to friendship, quality is so much more important than quantity – I’d rather have one amazing friendship than 20 superficial ones xx

    113thingstosay.com

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you so much for your comment Mira, I couldn’t have said it better myself. I’m glad the post resonated with you 🙂

  • Beautiful post dear, I also have had friendships that have drifted away but also those who were gone for a few years and came back into my life =o)

    https://dreamofadventures.com/

    • Diana Maria

      Thank you! I’m glad to hear that 🙂

  • Daiana Abagnale

    I’m just like you: just a few friends, sometimes look back at the old memories and old friends, but I choose who have in my life.
    Dasynka
    http://dasynka.com

    • Diana Maria

      I’m glad you were able to relate to this post Daiana, thank you 🙂